That is exactly how I and so many other women (and men for that matter) feel about this strange time. Businesses are struggling, people are panicking, and honestly we don't have a full understanding of what has happened. But that is okay because...
You will find your normal.
This mindset has gotten me through the toughest and scariest moments in life. I'm not easily intimidated, but I promise you I get my fair share of uncomfortable moments. Regardless of your situation, your mindset is key. I will literally (in my head) chant to myself "this will become normal. You will find a new normal" every time I start something new.
I have a perfect example of this: moving out, starting my business, and landing a part-time dream job at a charter school ALL at once. All those amazing, terrifying, but beautiful things happened at once, and I was scared out of my mind. Walking into the school brought on so many negative thoughts, but I quickly realized that this could become my new normal. Even after I got the job, I was not used to the way things worked. There were some awful coworkers. I would literally sit in my car and cry after work. It got to the point every day as I walked into work I reminded myself that...
You will find your normal.
Let my explain this mindset a little bit. Every thing is scary at first right? New people, new workplace, new city. What if I told you that in a month it will be nothing? In a month, you will have set a new routine, you will develop new relationships, and you will be okay. It is hard getting there. You will cry and panic and anxiety will seem like your new best friend, but you will be okay. It takes time and sometimes we just want to speed things up, but constantly reminding yourself that you are finding your "new normal" will get you through it.
Some of you are thinking, "Ok Marla, how do we find our new normal?" I have been there. I have begged and pleaded with God to just "let me get to the good stuff." Below are a few tips that helped me reach my new normal.
1. Embraced the Change.
I know good things take time and change brings new seasons of joy. That's great and all, but honestly, I HATE change. I love traditions, and I love my routines. Change doesn't fit anywhere in those two categories. Finding a way to appreciate the season of change you're going through and understanding how those changes are affecting your future for the better is astronomical for finding your new normal. You have to realize that diamonds are made under pressure, not comfortably chilling on their couch watching Grey's Anatomy for the third time. You have to embrace the change.
2. Get Help.
This right here got me through the toughest days. As hard headed and independent as I come, I knew that I wasn't going to get anywhere without help. And nobody is going to know to help you if you don't ask. Learn to ask questions. Don't be embarrassed because literally EVERYBODY on the face of the planet has been in a situation where they needed help. Just ask.
3. Initiate Friendships
When I started my job, I was hired on with two other girls who would work alongside me. We were all new, and one of the girls was brand new to the city too. So guess what we did? We CLUNG to each other. We vented to each other after work, we laughed off our mistakes, and we made a point to show each other we cared because we knew that friendship was so important. Make a point to get to know people. Those friendships are crucial.
4. Don't Lose Hope
I reached this point so many times. I was so ready to just quit my job, quit my business, and move back home. I can't tell you how many tears I shed trying to convince myself to do those things. God had a different plan. He sent me the reminders through his Word, through worship, through so many things that I couldn't deny the fact that I am where He wanted me to be. Trust me, I tried fighting it. I wanted to take the easy path and go back home. I found a few things that helped me get back on track though, so I'll share.
- Self care that is unique to you.
- Understand yourself and pay attention to your needs.
- Learn to truly rest (not necessarily sleep).
- Remind yourself why you started.
- Make a list. Physically write out a list of priorities, things to do, etc.
- Remove yourself from negative thoughts.
- Organize an aspect of your life.
- Eat some food. Hangry people don't make good progress.
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